So today’s assignment: My first love and my first kiss; if separate, discuss both. (My goodness, these questions sometimes make me feel like I’m signing up for some kind of dating event.)
These were two very different occasions actually. I won’t say any names here, just because this is online and all that.
My first kiss happened when I was 16. I worked at a pizza joint in high school and so did he. Even then, I was kind of a loner when it came to dating. Translation: I didn’t. So when I met him and we hit it off and it just kind of went from there. I’m afraid my tendency to remain a loner in the dating world eventually got in the way of things, but my first kiss was a very sweet and very romantic experience. He’d had 11 roses delivered to me at work “Just Because” and he was always the utmost gentleman. At the end of the night, he delivered the 12th personally, sealed with a kiss.
The first person I fell in love with? That’s a much more LOADED answer. If you know me, you already know the whole story. Now, keep in mind, there were some HARDCORE crushes that happened before that. But when I was 18, I met a man who became a “First” in many things. We started dating when I was 19. I ended up staying with him for 10 years.
Unfortunately it didn’t work out for a wide variety of reasons. And I learned the hard lesson of being in love with someone who wasn’t quite in love with me. To be fair, I’m sure he loved me. But I don’t know that he was ever IN love with me. If that makes sense. We had a lot of adventures and were very close and it was a very rocky road when I made the decision to go my own way and break up with him. Thankfully in the following years, we’ve found a peace about it all and it’s all in the past at this point.
A very sobering experience for me, when viewed in the frame of many other things happening in my life at that time. The way that it impacted my life was profound. It was a HUGE learning experience at the very level of my soul. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to go back to do things just a touch differently. But then I remember that if I did that, I would risk rewriting my entire history and there are moments I’ve had since then, that would have never come to me otherwise, and I never want to erase them. I would not be who I am, I would not know what I know, and I would not have gone through many things in life that led me to where I am now.
Until tomorrow mes amis!